Spike TV actually published a list of the Top 7 Butterbodies (women with pretty faces and butter bodies.) Even though they published the listed they did so with the disclaimer:

You know that if any of the women approached the fools over at Spike they would be drooling all over themselves. Hey Nick Coles you couldn’t get one of these Butterbodies even if you tried. And since you’ve probably pissed off every woman in America you should probably stocked up on the Vaseline for your hand.

The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

The true definition of a butterbody is a woman who has a beautiful face but a body that’s gone to butter. It’s like the butterface, but in reverse. If you are rich and famous, there is no excuse for being a butterbody. It’s your job to look fit and hot. Celebrities are not like normal people. They have the means to pay for a full time trainer and for someone to prepare their meals.

7. Sara Ramirez

Sara Ramirez is a big-boned woman who stars as a bisexual doctor in the TV show Grey’s Anatomy. Normally when plus-sized women gain fame, they slim down and lose the pounds. Not Sara. She has remained true to her pudgy self.

6. Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore’s weight fluctuates like a yo-yo. The star of 50 First Dates and Charlie’s Angels can look super hot or super plump and blubbery. Drew blames her vegetarianism for her fluctuations in weight. She says she basically lives on carbs and eats whatever she wants. As a bonafide star, Drew cannot do this. Otherwise every hot woman in Hollywood will adopt a similar mentality and the world will be void of super thin, super hot women.

5. Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek has a beer gut, which she tries to hide by wearing flowing dresses. She fools no one with this trickery. This lady is fat. It’s like she’s carrying a spare car tire around her mid-section. Her only saving grace is her magnificent breasts. The extra weight she gained has gone directly to her breasts, and it is glorious.

4. America Ferrera

Yes, America Ferrera plays a dowdy, awkward character on TV’s Ugly Betty. However, this is no excuse for being a butterbody. Ferrera could easily wear a body suit and actually act. Hollywood is about being extraordinary, not ordinary. It’s crazy that she has become a poster child for “curvy” women. She basically gives women an excuse to be fat.

3. Mandy Moore

Once upon a time Mandy Moore was cute and adorable. She was also super annoying, but she was so damn cute that this flaw was generally overlooked. Then she dropped off the face of the earth. Recently she re-emerged looking chunky, pudgy and out of shape. It’s like she spent the last few years on a couch watching television and eating tubs of Neapolitan ice cream. Now that she’s fat, her annoying-ness shines through. She needs to do everyone a favor and get fit again.

2. Liv Tyler

The transformation of Liv Tyler into a frumpy frump is a tragedy. The angelic film star used to be one of the world’s most beautiful women. Now she looks like a dowdy housewife who indulges in too many home-baked cookies. Liv needs to hit the treadmill, pronto.

1. Tyra Banks

Tyra Banks is so desperate to be Oprah that she has piled on the pounds. For years, Tyra Banks was a bangin‘ top model. Her cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue is iconic and shows Tyra at her best. The years have caught up with her and she’s let herself go as she spews advice on her TV talk show and America’s Next Top Model. If Tyra Banks really wants to be the next Oprah, she should take a leaf out of Oprah’s book and drop 40 pounds.

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